Difficult...

It seems that lately life has gotten out of proportion for me. I haven't been thinking much about my priorities but more on my doubts, my insecurities and it's making my head hurt. Pucha naman o! When this guy was still considered mine, I was never this paranoid! Is this my curse? it always happens that around this time of year, I lose my boyfriends! Why?

Could it be possible that it's around this time of year all my so-called beauty and charms disappear? Or is it because my birthday's around the corner? Hey, I'm not expecting anything expensive for my birthday, I'm not demanding, I'm not that picky. What's wrong with me?

I've tried talking to my friends, but they don't seem to think of it as a dilemma, good for them they have all the security they need, a praising and loving family. Well, I don't have that at the moment, so there!

They seem to think I'm happy. I seem to smile a lot, but I can't really say that I am happy. Because if I was, why am I here complaining about how my life sucks, about how I could use a special person right about now.

As much as I hate to jinx my first entry with a full complaint of what's missing in my life right now, I can't help but feel sorry for myself for being a lonely fool. And as much as I'd like to keep my pride and say that it's not my fault, I'd be lying. I have faults, a lot of them. More on the lines of blindness. I have to admit that I have a superficial side, Pride is what I would rather call it. Can you blame me for wanting a teeny bit of perfection to my imperfect life?